Falling

‘I never planned to fall, I mean I may have thought about it from time to time

but actually falling?

it was never my intention:

to fall, to get hurt

& to become this broken beacon of false hope.

I‘m sorry.’

I took this photograph on my holiday in Oman on my Easter break. I noticed at my grandma’s new place there were two flights of stairs leading to the roof and being the curious ‘arty farty’ person I am I had to check it out. I took countless pictures up there, and although I am afraid of heights, I loved the open air. It’s why I dream to have a balcony in a home I can name my own, one day. A the time I was in the middle of preparing for my A2 Photography exam, which took place over a month ago and hopefully I can share them in a blog post soon. I chose my exam to be on the awareness of mental health something that is very close to my heart. I knowingly made sure it was something personal so every picture I would take would be worthwhile. This photograph is inspired by that. It is inspired by the very essence of mental illness and how people just don’t feel trapped but also feel at the edge.

Of course while I was up there I had a few dark thoughts that entered my mind but I tried not to let them get to me. I was there to be inspired and I was. I just love that idea of the unknown. Did they jump? Fall? Survive? Who knows. The very act of falling- both hypothetically and non-hypothetical- is something sometimes we just don’t fear but we crave. It is a big flaw in us humans but it is something we learn to live with even though some of us don’t get that far and really do topple over the edge.

Photography is just one of those things; I’ll see something and have this sort of itch to take a photograph of it. Like a writer suddenly inspired by a new idea and quickly rushing to jot it down. These feelings are things I live for. The things that help me each day pull myself up and stay standing. I do it for the rush of ideas, the snap of a camera, the syllable of a word and the stroke of a brush. I call them my escapes some may call them their hobbies but either way they make us, they shape us and they let is grow into who we are.

 

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